


you're getting to be a habit with me

by sapphirerays



Series: hangin' around with you | katherine albert x butch deloria [2]
Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 3
Genre: (kinda), Drinking & Talking, Enemies to Friends, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Mixed feelings, butch isnt used to dealing with feelings but tries his best, dealing with grief, language warning, lone wanderer just misses her dad man, mention of one night stand, mutual awkwardness, post-trouble on the homefront, sex mention, slight alcoholism mention, supportive friends, the lone wanderer has a lot of feelings, theyre just kids adjusting to major life changes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:15:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23772928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphirerays/pseuds/sapphirerays
Summary: After being kicked out of the vault for good, the lone wanderer struggles to cope with her feelings. Luckily for her, someone from the vault feels the same way.
Relationships: Butch DeLoria/Female Lone Wanderer, Butch DeLoria/Lone Wanderer, Implied Sydney/Female Lone Wanderer, Past Amata Almodovar/Female Lone Wanderer
Series: hangin' around with you | katherine albert x butch deloria [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1706368
Kudos: 18





	you're getting to be a habit with me

“You know you can’t stay here forever, right?”  


Katherine lifted her head from the bed she was lying on to look at Sydney, who was stood over her.  


“I’ve got the caps for it,” she mumbled, pressing her face back into the pillow. She’d been staying in Carol’s place for a number of days and had no plans to leave for the foreseeable future. To further prove her point, she fumbled for the half-empty bottle of whiskey beside the bed, cursing when she knocked it to the floor.  


“Kathy,” Sydney said firmly. “You’re not helping yourself here.”  


She’d met back up with Sydney only a couple of days after Amata had exiled her from the vault. She winced at the memory, pressing her face further into the pillow. After her dad had- after what happened with Project Purity, she’d gone wandering alone for a while. She’d found herself at Springvale, although she wasn’t certain how exactly she had gotten there, drinking from several bottles of whiskey she’d picked up. An Enclave eyebot had floated around nearby and she’d lost it, firing her laser rifle at it several times, even though just the one hit was enough to blow it to bits. She’d switched to a pistol and shot at it until she was out of bullets, and then she’d collapsed to the floor and cried. 

When she couldn’t physically cry anymore, she’d dragged herself back to Megaton, intending to lay in bed for days, only to pick up a signal for help from Amata. It had stung to hear her beg her to stop looking for her father and help her with hers, although Amata couldn’t have known her dad’s fate. It had gotten her into gear, at least, as the call of seeing Amata again had been too strong to ignore. A sense of familiarity would’ve helped her immensely. Of course, nothing went as she expected, with half of the vault’s inhabitants throwing abuse at her. She’d nearly lost it with Wally, taking everything she had not to throw a punch at him when he’d made that snide remark about her not knowing what it was like to have a hero for a dad. Some of the people had been friendlier, sure - Susie seemed much nicer towards her, and of course Butch was very friendly when she’d ran into him. Truthfully, she’d been a bit nervous, particularly since she’d worn his jacket when she’d gone back to the vault. She’d been a bit worried that he would’ve reverted back to his nasty ways like Wally had, but he’d treated her nicely enough, even when she refused his offer of sabotaging the vault. His mother, unsurprisingly, still had an unpleasant attitude, but she couldn’t expect her to be grateful. She was most relieved to see Amata unharmed. She’d missed her immensely, and it made her realise just how lonely she’d been out in the wasteland.  


Katherine snorted to herself, thinking about it. Fat load of good that had done her. As soon as the situation was resolved Amata had sent her packing with barely an apology. Not one person had seemed to care about how she’d been affected after being forced to leave nor what had happened to her dad. At least that time she’d been able to collect the rest of her things, not that many were left. It had been hard, being back in the place she grew up, especially with how many painful reminders there were. It had taken most of her strength not to just shoot the overseer where he’d stood, Jonas’ death particularly weighing down on her. For Amata, she’d resolved it peacefully.  
In return, Amata had pushed her away without a second thought, their history be damned. She’d watched the vault door close behind her and then out of habit typed “Amata” into the console, only for it to feed back that the password was incorrect. In one swift action, she’d lost both her best friend and her last real connection to her father. She’d cried then, after letting the wooden door close behind her. She’d just sat outside and sobbed.  


She hadn’t wanted to return to Megaton after that. Too many people there who knew her as the kid from the vault, or as James’ daughter. No, she’d headed to the Underworld, where she had no real reputation and could just bury her head in the sand for a few days. Sydney had greeted her cheerily, and then been a shoulder to cry on when she’d eventually broken down in her hotel room. Sydney’s loss of her own father gave them something in common, and for a few nights they drank together. One night, Sydney had been more than a shoulder to cry on, but they’d both agreed there were no strings attached. Having company had been enough.  


“Katherine,” Sydney tried again, bending down to move the whiskey bottle out of her reach as she swiped for it again. “Realistically, you’ve got to go outside again sometime.”  


“Says who.” Katherine’s voice was muffled through the pillow.  


“Carol, for one. I’m beginning to think you’re scaring her customers away.” Sydney’s tone was light. “Kathy, look. I’m not gonna tell you how to grieve, but you’ve got to look after yourself. Even I’m worried. You make me look sober.”  


Katherine huffed and slowly dragged herself upwards so that she was sitting on the bed instead.  


“Fuck this chick, yknow? Who cares if you had history. And your father - well - I doubt he’d want you to waste away your days like this.” Sydney’s tone was gentle.  


“Amata was my first kiss,” Katherine said mournfully, “and she didn’t even let me stay for long enough to talk about anything. She just said she was sorry about my dad and sent me on my way.”  


“I know, Kathy. You’re hurting more because you’re associating two events with the same pain. It’s not a hurt anyone can help you with. But it’ll hurt a lot less if you don’t stay in bed all day.”  


Katherine groaned softly.  


“Go on an adventure, or something. Go somewhere that isn’t here. Maybe let some people know that you’re alive,” Sydney continued. “C’mon, dude. I can’t help you if you don’t let me help.”  


“I know,” Katherine sighed. “Maybe you’re right. Laying here isn’t helping anyone.”  


“Give that project a rest and take a few days to yourself. Get yourself cleaned up. I dunno, get laid by someone else for a change.”  


“I was that bad, huh?”  


“People will start talking and then we’ll both be out of other options,” she joked. “And Kathy? Give the whiskey a rest for a bit.”  


“Fiiiiiine.” Katherine rubbed her eyes and stood up, a little unsteady on her feet.  


“Oh, and if you’re heading to Rivet City at any point, I found this document the old guy will probably be interested in. He’ll likely pay you for it. I’m not going back anytime soon, so you might as well take it.” Sydney rummaged around in the drawers, producing a rolled up scroll. “Here you go.”  


“Thanks, Syd.” Katherine placed it into her bag. “I’m gonna go take a bath and then I’ll head out. I might as well give myself something to do.”  


“Atta girl.” Sydney ruffled her hair. “Maybe get a haircut when you can, too. Looks like it’s getting a little long.”  


“Yeah, yeah. It really does mean a lot, Syd. What you’ve done for me.”  


“Yeah, well, let’s call it even.” 

Having a hot bath and wearing cleaner clothes admittedly did make Katherine feel a bit better. After spending several days in the same set of dirty relaxed wear, it was some relief to change into the mercenary clothes Sydney had leant her, along with her tunnel snakes jacket. It had been sitting on the back of a chair for basically the entire time she’d been at Carol’s place in fear of her wrecking it. She’d said her goodbyes to Sydney, who’d given her an encouraging thumbs up, and then headed out for Rivet City. She’d made it most of the way without encountering too many enemies - it was mostly super mutants, and she could handle them just fine, but preferred to take the stealthy approach regardless. She’d felt a pang in her heart when seeing the Jefferson Memorial in the distance, but forced herself to continue to Rivet City, trying not to dwell on it.  


Entering Rivet City again was harder than she’d thought it would be. Abrahram Washington had paid her well for the document, but leaving the room she’d found herself face to face with the door to the science lab. It was had to believe that just a couple of weeks prior her dad had been there, alive and well. Her eyes stung, and she knew if she entered she wouldn’t be able to fight off the tears, so she turned and went in search of Rivet City’s bar. She wasn’t going to drink more straight whiskey, but a nuka cola and vodka couldn’t hurt.  


It took her several attempts to find said bar without encountering the science lab, but it gave her the time she needed to recover from the brink of tears. Eventually she found a familiar door and pushed it open, being greeted with the sight of the lights in the bar’s ceiling. Man, she could almost taste the nuka cola. She’d just walked up to the bar and was about to order when a voice from behind her caught her attention.  


“Well, if it isn’t my best girl!”  


She spun around, not entirely believing it. “Butch?”  


“Th- Katherine!” He sounded just as surprised, if not moreso. “The lovely lady who sprung me from the vault. I think I owe you a drink!”  


“What are you doing here? I thought-”  


“Thought I’d stay in the vault? Not a chance, babe. The second Amata said we could leave, I was outta there.”  


Katherine’s face fell, and he must’ve noticed, because he continued, “but enough about that! Let me get ya something. What are you feeling?”  


“I was gonna just grab some nuka and vodka,” Katherine said, grateful for the subject change.  


“Sure thing!” Butch gestured to where he was sitting and went to order their drinks while Katherine sat on the bench. Moments later he was back, carrying two glasses, and sat facing her across the table.  


“Thanks, Butch.” Katherine suddenly felt shy. She still wasn’t sure what to make of Butch. True, he’d backed off a lot in the months before things had kicked off in the vault, and then he’d declared her his best friend ever when she’d saved his mom. That, and he’d just called her his best girl. She felt herself flush and quickly drank from her glass. At least she could blame it on the alcohol.  


“Oh, and, uh, the jacket looks great on you. I mean, it suits you. A true tunnel snake,” Butch said, then quickly drank from his own drink. Katherine noted that he seemed a little nervous. It was a little comforting, not being the only one. In fairness, he was probably just as confused about their dynamic as she was. Were they friends? Acquaintances? She didn’t class him as a rival anymore, but maybe he did? She took another sip from her drink.  


Butch was looking at her. She realised she hadn’t responded, and choked on her drink. Coughing, she tried to collect herself. Butch jumped up and thumped her back, and she gave him a strained smile.  


“Sorry. Thank you. Uh, for the compliment and stopping me choking.”  


“No worries.”  


Quiet fell between them for a moment. Katherine took the opportunity to subtly take in his appearance. He had certainly grown since she’d last seen him, and he filled out his clothes nicely. He’d switched to wearing wasteland clothes with his own tunnel snakes jacket over them.  


“So-” she started, only for Butch to say at the same time, “Well-”  


They both stopped.  


“You first,” Butch said.  


“No, it’s fine. You say your thing,” Katherine offered.  


“No, really, it’s okay.”  


“Please - go ahead.”  


“Well…” Butch started, looking sheepish. “I was going to ask how you are, but I guess that’s a pretty stupid question, huh?”  


Katherine, surprised, just stared at him for a moment. She felt the tears coming before she could stop them, to her horror, and tried to hide her face in her hands, only for the sobs to burst out of her. Butch, alarmed, awkwardly sat next to her, patting her back.  


“I’m sorry- I didn’t mean you upset you, man!” He sounded genuinely worried, and Katherine felt a little touched. Her tears wouldn’t stop.  


“No- it’s not your fault-” she managed to get out, choking back sobs. “It’s just- my dad- nobody asked-” she burst into a fresh wave of tears.  


Butch, after a moment’s hesitation, pulled her in for a hug, letting her weep into his shoulder.  


“I’m sorry,” she sobbed, “you must think me so stupid.”  


“Don’t be ridiculous, man,” Butch rubbed her back, still hesitant. “Tunnel snakes don’t judge other gang members.”  


“I look like such a baby,” she sniffled.  


“Katherine, man, I don’t know what’s happened but it seems like a lot. Seriously, don’t sweat it.”  


Katherine continued to cry quietly into him, eventually slowing down into smaller sobs and managing to recompose herself.  


“I’m sorry,” she said again. “Wasn’t very badass of me.”  


“Dude, like I said, no sweat.” Butch realised he was still rubbing her back and froze awkwardly. Likewise, Katherine clumsily sat upright again, wiping her eyes.  


“It’s just… I don’t know. So much happened, you know? And then I came back to the vault, and Amata- Amata-” she blinked furiously, trying to stop a new wave of tears coming.  


“I know,” Butch sounded sympathetic. “If it’s any consolation, me and her had a fight about it.”  


“What?” She looked up at him, surprised.  


“Yeah, man. I thought it was real shitty of her to boot you like that. We ended up in an argument about it, and I cleared off not too long afterwards. It must’ve been much worse for you.”  


“Yeah,” she said quietly. “I mean, it- my dad died a few days before I got the signal and I was taking it pretty badly. I still am. Though that’s obvious,” she sniffed. “Then everyone was being so shitty about him in the vault- I nearly threw hands with Wally-”  


“Man, fuck Wally.” Butch snorted. “He became a right asshole. He was out of the gang after you left. Pissed me off too much.”  


“I thought Wally was your best friend?” Katherine asked. Butch looked embarrassed.  


“Kinda. Not really. More he was the only guy besides Paul who would hang around with me. Got too shitty for me, though.”  


Katherine nodded sympathetically. “I understand. I mean, I thought Amata was my best friend, but… Well. You know how that turned out.”  


“Fuck the vault, man.” Butch took another drink. “But you were saying?”  


“Just that… I miss my dad. And with everyone being an asshole and blaming him, it was hard being there again, especially because of all the memories. Then Amata brushed me off when I mentioned he’d died, and then she kicked me out. And, I dunno, it felt like I was losing my best friend and the last bit of my dad at the same time.”  


“I’m sorry to hear about your dad, I really am. He was a decent guy. Probably was too nice to me when I was younger.” Butch went quiet, thinking. “If you don’t mind my asking - what happened?”  


“He had a project - Project Purity. He and my mom worked on it before I was born. And then - after my mom died, my dad gave it up to care for me. I found out I wasn’t even born in the vault, that’s just where he took me. That’s why he left. He wanted to go back to work on it. I spent ages looking for him, and then I was really mad when I did find him, because all he’d talk about was Project Purity, you know? Barely a question as to how I was or what I’d been through.” Another tear rolled down Katherine’s cheek. “We went to the Jefferson Memorial to try and pick it up, and then the Enclave turned up. They demanded my dad help them, and when he didn’t, they shot one of the other scientists. My dad still refused, instead filling the chamber with radiation levels while he was still inside. He sacrificed himself so that the rest of the team and I could get away safely. I… I had to watch him die in there.”  


“Jesus, Katherine, I’m so sorry.”  


“It just sucked, you know? I was so angry at him for abandoning me in the vault. I didn’t even travel to Rivet City with him, I said I’d meet him there. I wish I had. I wish I hadn’t been so resentful and spent more time with him.”  


“You couldn’t have known. You can’t blame yourself for that.”  


“I suppose not.”  


A beat of silence passed, with Katherine wiping her eyes again.  


“Seeing Amata again… it made me realise just how lonely I’d been in the wasteland. I was so happy to see her again, and then she just… discarded me. It really felt like I didn’t have a friend in the world.” Katherine stared down at her nearly empty drink. She didn’t know why she was telling Butch any of it.  


“Guess that makes two of us,” Butch said quietly. “Hey. Tell you what. I’ll make you a pact, right now, that we’re friends, okay? A fresh start in the wasteland.”  


He held his hand out. Katherine took it gingerly and shook it, taking in the warmth of his fingers against hers.  


“Friends,” Katherine agreed. “I’m good with that.”  


“We can start a new tunnel snakes gang, out here in the wasteland,” Butch said excitedly. “We’ve even got the matching jackets ready.”  


“Would you… would you want to travel with me?” Katherine asked him. She wasn’t sure if he was going to accept - they could both have their own agendas, or Butch could want to do his own thing-  


“Man, I’d love to. Touring the wasteland alone just doesn’t feel right.”  


“Then it’s settled,” Katherine gave him a shaky smile and raised her glass. “To friendship in the wasteland.”  


“To friendship!” Butch shouted, earning a glare from Belle behind the counter, downing his glass.  


“Thanks, Butch.” Katherine leant back against him, tired out suddenly.  


“Hey, Katherine?”  


“Mhm?”  


“One more thing, before we head off?”  


“What?”  


“Please let me fix your hair. It’s way too long for that hairstyle.”  


She laughed softly. “Okay, Mr not-a-stylist.”  


“Hey, it’s barber!”  


“Okay, Mr Barber.”  


“I’ll allow that, just this once.”  


Katherine just smiled.


End file.
